Day Writing by Heather Hamilton-Maude: Fall Communication, kids included
There is a lot of communication that occurs during the fall rush. The family dynamics of conversations are also changing in our household as the kids get older, and it can be a little overwhelming.
I have determined, after much research, that for every child a woman has, there are three-to-four conversations always occurring. These conversations ramp up exponentially whenever we are confined to a vehicle.
One conversation is focused on needs – a sweater, a snack, a drink. The second is a plethora of questions – What are we doing today? Where are we going? What is that lady we met three months ago in the juice aisle at the grocery store doing over there? The third is tricky. It begins by asking how things work or what something’s purpose is – Why are there white and yellow lines on the road? What does an orange traffic light mean? Why do you turn the key halfway on in some pickups at first, and others you turn it on all the way fast? Each of these questions needs to be answered with care, as it will become the standard on that topic for your child. Six months after the question is asked, it will transition to a fourth line of conversation consisting of gasps, sighs, and other sounds of concern followed by – Mom, you’re over the white line and you said you never cross it. Mom, you went through a light that was ORANGE. Mom, the light on the dash telling you to turn on the pickup hadn’t gone out yet when you turned the key the rest of the way!
Husbands, it is imperative when answering whichever single line of kid questioning you hear that you do not reply with, “Well, mom doesn’t know,” or, “Mom doesn’t do it the way I would.” Your kids will remember that. Then, your kids will tell their mom what you said about her ability to, say, drive the grain cart. This will inevitably occur when she has all the children with her as she drives the grain cart for the tenth hour that day, knee deep in empty snack wrappers, probably literally saving your harvest because someone else called in sick or got hurt. Lets just say those situations rarely turn out well for anyone, and generally add a lot more communication to an already hectic situation.
Snippets of spousal conversation include wondering if bills have been paid, if there is enough money to buy mineral, or feed, or tires. Has the vet been paid for preg-checking heifers? Are there clean socks? Deep, meaningful stuff in-between arguments about the validity of staying within the white lines on deserted highways for the second parts run in a single day.
“How fast are you going, Mom?! I’m hungry! Is this a safe speed? How can you tell? Did Dad say a bad word when the sprocket exploded? What was the word? Dad says that isn’t a real bad word. Can we stop and get a snack? How many pointy things are on a sprocket?”
Happy fall to all the families with children, harvest, cattle work, school work, fourth quarter work, and all the other things coming down the pipes. May your communication, equipment, and cattle work go smoothly.
If your wife seems particularly on edge, try carving out an hour of peace and quiet for her. Or, since that is a lot to ask of a man in October, try handing her $10 to buy her fancy chocolate, coffee, chips, fountain drink, etc… the next time she runs to town. Yes sir, it does make a difference if you hand her the $10, even though you share bank accounts. Especially if it’s a day the kids told her about something you said. Just trust me on that one.
